"I am the Light of the World. That is my only function. That is why I am here." (A Course in Miracles Workbook Lesson 61)
I was told by my doctor 27 years ago to plan on being on medication for anxiety and depression for the rest of my life. An inner voice told me that didn't need to be true, and at that time I trusted him more than my own inner wisdom.
When my ex-husband and I divorced and I was without insurance, I could no longer afford the medications and weaned myself from them. It was a turning point which probably saved my life because it forced me to stop relying on the poor excuse for well being they offered, and to start taking better care of myself.
Recently, I asked my Soul a question I've asked many times: "Why am I here?" The answer I heard was "Why do you want to be here?" I thought about it, and then hesitantly replied, "To love and be loved? Can it be as simple as that?" My Soul asked "Do you find this simple?" I realized that no, I don't find this easy at all. I even noticed myself feeling silly for wanting this, and yet it quickly came into focus that it's all there truly is.
Part of me wishes I could tell you I've got this down. That my days and nights are peaceful and joyous. My relationships nourishing and fulfilling. My work joyful and fulfilling my Soul's purpose. Love leads my thoughts and actions. Depression, fear, and anxiety, my inner critic - gone! Things of the past. I'm healed! Done!
What fun would that be though, right? What I can say, is that after much work, many good teachers, a lot of unlearning, relearning, and a whole bunch of the Universe having my back, all of these statements are far more often true.
I still get caught up in stories and feelings I've carried from early in this life time. Anxiety and depression still show up and say "Hey! Remember me?" The difference is they're met sooner rather than later with what I've come to call Loving Awareness™.
I spend less time ruminating, and more time turning towards what I'm experiencing with kindness and compassion. Parts of myself, long hidden and yearning to be seen and loved, are feeling safe to come out and express themselves (even the naughty shameful bits!). As a result I've been able to ease into and enjoy the journey much more.
My work is about helping people bring love to some of the hardest to reach places. I place myself, my training, and intuition in the service of our guides (animals, angels, spirit guides) as we tap into the abundant well of love, joy, peace, and support which is our very essence. We develop tools and practices to help bring it enough into awareness that it becomes a go to resource to call upon, or ease into, to help navigate life's challenges.
We all have it. We are all worthy, deserving, good enough, and loveable enough to access this inner resource. If you're having difficulty believing this is true, or finding your way there, reach out to me and let's talk to see if my work can help.
Please note: I am not suggesting that anyone on medications should take themselves off. In my case it was a blessing. Everyone is different, and this is a choice that is best made with their doctor.